I wanna bring you to show and tell
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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