Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I just saw a hot homeless man
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
