What did we do last night that was yellow?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
My feet surprised me
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
