Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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