No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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