atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She's the barista slut.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My vagina is very pro this idea
Randomize
