Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
