I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize