Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize