This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
and she was petting her beer can
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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