...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Non-Jews are for practice
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Randomize
