I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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