Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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