Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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