Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
