omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Randomize
