Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
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