Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
