S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
