Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
