my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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