We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize