While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
