Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize