He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
