I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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