Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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