sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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