Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
