dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize