why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
