I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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