return my video game
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
