it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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