our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
