"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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