Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
i've created a new STD.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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