please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
