i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize