But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
