I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
