Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
