No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
