I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
