let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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