Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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