I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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