i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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