oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
