Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize