Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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