Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
