he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Sext me about skeletons
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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