the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
