Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize