sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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