wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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