first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
