He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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