FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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