I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Randomize
