Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
