Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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