is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
this will be a night to untag.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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