3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
