I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
