Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
