Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
