I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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