I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
