I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize