I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
