Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
