is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
