My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
