You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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