I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
