i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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