He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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