every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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