ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
