My Higher Power is John Stamos
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
